Confessions of an OVERACHIEVER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many of us have abandonment and rejection issues because of previous losses we’ve suffered during childhood.  Secretly we began to fear that we would ultimately lose everyone we loved.  On a deeper subconscious level we began to equate our losses with being unlovable.  We overcompensate in an effort to avoid ever feeling the sting of rejection and abandonment again.  We become OVERACHIEVERS in every area we can, including love.  We become the best lover, the best friend, constant supporter, and cheerleader in an attempt to prevent those we love from abandoning us.  Often this leads to heartbreak because our fear of being rejected produces a spirit of long-suffering which allows abuse.

Once we realize this truth about ourselves, it’s too late to change who we have become [although our initial reason for being the best in every area was fueled by our own insecurities] and most of us have become quite successful in every area except love.

When we seek truth our perception changes and transforms us.  We start to understand that all of the pain that we’ve endured and all the people who we’ve tried to love with all of our heart were not a reflection of our self-worth, but only a part of our soul’s journey towards becoming who we were created to be.  The means by which we’ve become the men/women of distinction and excellence may have been spurned by our early need for love and acceptance, but has now blossomed into a love and respect for ourselves.  Many of us reach levels of success that we must admit we never could have imagined reaching, without the underlined motivation for love and acceptance.

Despite what the motivation was, now, we can say with certainty that despite all the pain, the hurt, and the loss; we are stronger for having not only survived but grown in our spirit and mind because of our experiences.

But deep within our spirit our inner child still has to be reminded that he/she is worthy of the best at all times.  We work each and every day to see our self-worth and embrace who we have become despite our reason for becoming.  Never down playing our brilliance, our heart, our love, our worth, or our contribution to this world in order to receive love and acceptance.  We’ve learned not to fear that our energy vibration will frighten men/women and run them away.  We understand that anyone who leaves us because of who we have become is not leaving us, but fleeing the reflection of themselves, they see in us, but that they are not yet prepared to embrace.

Once enlightened, we understand that there is nothing wrong with our love. And we can continue our soul’s journey towards “becoming” without fear and without apology.  We don't have to accept the broken-ness of another to hide the wholeness of the Light that is shining within us.  Nor fear that our Light will shine too bright and overshadow our lover.  We seek to live in the Light and vow to embrace those who also live in the Light.  Once we embrace this level of consciousness we start to attract like individuals with vibrations that match our own.  Until then, we continue to achieve all that we possibly can believing that while on our journey another will join us, and we will walk in the Light together.

We confess.

All that we have achieved may have been driven by our need for love and acceptance.

But now we proclaim, no longer will we fear abandonment or rejection.

Written by

I use to laugh at people who had the title of "Reverend Doctor." I was like, what is all that about? Well, God certainly has a sense of humor. I AM known officially in the Metaphysical community as: Reverend Dr. Dianne Rosena Jones, Mpsy.D.,. However, I think I just be cutting up so much [because I admit I am beautifully flawed], until throwing my titles around puts too much pressure on me. So, I call myself, Dr. Di. Well about me....I AM the Visionary, Founder/CEO of Transforming Life Institute, LLC. I am a certified Metaphysical Practitioner who provides life coaching/counseling. I am an ordained Metaphysical Minister who incorporates my spiritual teachings into my coaching/counseling sessions. I am a mentor. I am also the the Founder, Publisher, and CEO of Royal Treasures Publishing, LLC. I have written and published 6 books. I provide editing and coaching services to aspiring writers. I am the Host of “Becoming Who I AM” on Blogtalk Radio. I hold two Bachelor’s Degrees: one in “Psychology” from Morgan State University, and the other in “Metaphysical Science” from the University of Metaphysics. I also hold a Master’s Degree in “Metaphysical Science” from the University of Metaphysics; and a Doctorate in “Metaphysical Psychology” from the University of Sedona."

2 Comments to “Confessions of an OVERACHIEVER”

  1. Cdouglas says:

    OVERACHIEVER NOT! For most of us the issues of Abandonment, Rejection and Pain are grounded in our refusal to have an honest monologue with ourselves. We define Love, Happiness and Satisfaction based on what others have told us they should be. When the merit of our Achievements are based on the idea of others acceptance, we never come close to our full potential. Few of us know the joy of developing our definition of the person we are or who we want to become. Some have chosen a life path directed by perceived expectations of folks around us. Spending so much energy looking around for acceptance, we don’t have the strength to look within. The idea that it’s ever to late to change who we are is one of the major misconceptions that hold individuals and us as a people Hostage! Who and where we are Right Now doesn’t define who we can become or where we can go. The amazing thing about enlightenment is it’s a state most of us don’t want to reside in but only visit from time to time. I Proclamation: I BELIEVE IN ME and I DEFINE ME, SO I WILL ACHIEVE!!

  2. dijones247 says:

    Thank you for your thoughts. I welcome differences of opinions. They help to stretch my level of understanding and keep me growing. And I agree with what you are saying. As an adult we do have to believe in ourselves, define ourselves, and reach our dreams independent of others acceptance.

    However, that’s not quite the angle I wrote from. Allow me to explain. The sentence at the beginning is cruical to understanding the entire blog.

    “Many of us have abandonment and rejection issues because of previous losses we’ve suffered during childhood.”

    In this blog, I searched for the pathology of this motivation which really begins in childhood. I firmly believe that most of our issues though they may not manifest or be identified until adulthood, start much sooner than that.

    As for the statement about it being too late to change. One who is truly an overachiever, will always be an overachiever. That won’t change. That’s why I mentioned that the reason or motivation changes, but the overachiever will never become just another ordinary performer even after figuring out that in the past their motivation for being the best was to due to their fear of rejection and abandonment.

    Many people proclaim that they never seek the love and acceptance of others, but either they are lying, don’t know themselves well enough, and/or don’t understand the pathology or motivation of why they do what they do. They simply don’t know their own truth.

    We all want the love and acceptance of others. As children, we get good grades and become great in sports for ourselves, our peers, and our family. As adults, we marry, choose professions, and sometimes even defer or give up our dreams for the love and acceptance of others. We even do it in the workplace. Wanting the love and acceptance of others is not some weakness that needs to be squashed. What I wanted to bring attention to is the motivation behind our need. If our motivation was the fear of rejection and abandonment [as mines was] then we must own that truth and then not change our drive for excellence, but change our motivation.

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